Post by Jeff Purse on Oct 14, 2011 17:28:22 GMT -5
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
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Jeff:
Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know who thought it was a good idea, but it is just that, an idea. Jeff Purse vs. Nightrider, Shockwave.
::Jeff steps out from behind a thick black curtain. He is dressed in a suit, perfectly ironed, perfectly straight. He has his hands behind his back, his monster cap centered, and his aviators on. He speaks with a serious tone, staring straight at the camera.::
Jeff:
Some people think that Jeff Purse just doesn't have it in him after losing to the disgusting, rotten, Nathan Von Liebert. Many people think that has affected Jeff in a negative way. Well, many people, you're wrong. That makes Jeff try even harder. Some people think that after that display of...whatever that was, that Jeff Purse is worried about what might happen to him this Sunday in the ring. Well some people, wrong again, Jeff is always focused on his match. But what of Jeff facing Nightrider? Find out now, on this, the first, and possibly only, addition of OCD news.
::The camera swoops away, as loud, action news music plays, and comes down to Kari and Jeff sitting at a desk, dressed as new correspondents...very over the top though. Kari is all askew, Jeff, who is neat and nice, refuses to even glance in her direction. She secretly finds it entertaining. They are straightening paper, look up at the camera, and begin.::
Jeff:
Nightrider equals David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff equals cheap, showy tactics to get famous. Remember, when we first brought up the subject of a Twist McFakey? Guess what Hoff, you are a twist McFakey...and I am talking to you Nightrider. Its odd though, you don't look like your beach going other side, you look like something he spit up after chowing on cheeseburgers laying on the ground, but hey, lets take it easy on the Hoff, huh? This isn't the roast of him...but man, you stole his name. Nightrider. David Hasselhoff IS nightrider, and you stole that. And stealing is bad. More on this theft as it comes in, but first, to Kari for the odds that Nightrider will win, Kari.
Kari:
I don't know who did that to us last week, but you better watch your back. Anyway, the statistics show that Jeff Purse will defeat Nightrider with much ease. Point and case, Nightrider is untalented, unfunny, and just a plain bad wrestler. Purse, on the other hand, is very talented, hilarious, and a great wrestler. He will run circles around Nightrider, and lay him out faster then you can say "come in Kip." Back to you Jeff.
Jeff:
Thanks Kari, good reporting. And that Jeff Purse isn't to bad to look at either...heh. Listen, point in fact Nightrider, here is what is going to happen. Kari and I will make our way to the ring, the beautiful couple that we are, then you and Angel Fyre will make YOUR way to the ring, the odd couple that you are. You will get in, we will stare each other down for a bit...then you will try to overpower me being the giant of a man that you are, but I will duck you, hit the ropes, and drop you to the ground with, oh who knows, a dropkick, perhaps a hurricanrana...it doesn't matter. I will take you down. Then, if you get up, perhaps a missle dropkick, or a moonsault to take you back down.
Maybe I will finally unveil The Future, teach you exactly where you belong. Let me tell you Nightrider, when you first came here, you were quoted as describing ACW as a place that has a lot of top notch talent. I am going to show you just how true those words are. I will teach you what it is like to actually go against top notch talent. After all, I am the future, Nightrider, while you...you are the...well you are like the land that time forgot. Never really changing. Being a big all dude with tattoos who likes to work on cars and show ismuscles to girls. You are like every guy at any gym lifting weights, ONLY when ladies walk by, or at least that what you LOOK like. Honestly, I don't know you. I don't care to know you. Its almost like you are not worth my time...
But thats not the way I look at things Nightrider, I do my homework, I study. I don't just walk into matches assuming I will win, so I have done some studying up on you. I bet you this is really going to hurt your insides...
::The scene cuts to a parking lot. In the very center, a 1969 cherry red Dodge Charger. It looks brand new, shiny, beautiful. The camera zooms out, and hanging above it is a giant piece of steel. Suddenly it drops, hitting the car right in the middle, probably ala Jeff's OCD. It splits the car in half, leaving it ruined. The scene cuts back to the studio where Jeff and Kari sit. Jeff is somewhat smiling.::
Jeff:
Look Nightrider-wait, this just in, we have heard, and have confirmation that Nightrider has entered the building and is heading this way. Apparently he thinks we crushed his car. It was just a copy, Nightrider, way to get overly angry about something small...
::The camera turns to show "Nightrider". It is a midget. Not just any midget, though, one fully decked out in Nightrider garb. With him is a midget women, decked out in Angel Fyre garb. Both of them look furious. The Nightrider midget walks up to Jeff, and starts swinging. All Jeff does is put his foot on the midgets forehead, which holds him at bay. Kari is "freaking" out during this. She is shouting, throwing things, yelling at "Angel Fyre" about ruining their report. All the while, both midgets are causing quite a ruckus. They finally get frustrated and storm out of the building. Jeff looks up at the camera, takes off his avaitors, and starts to speak::
Jeff:
Now, obviously this was just a simulation folks. The point I am trying to get at? No matter what, Nightrider, I am going to win. I not only have a goal in my head here, but I have to redeem myself after losing to the swamp that is Nathan Von Liebert. And truthfully, Nightrider, I don't think you are a bad guy at all...maybe a little cocky, but hey who in this business isn't cocky? The down to earth truth here, man, is this is what it is going to be like with me against you. Sure, on the outside, you are a giant. A super heavyweight almost. But when I look at you from across the ring, I am going to see that. A frightened, little, midget. Im faster, Nightrider, as I have said before, to many people. You better have quite the defense my friend, because I am going to be throwing things at you you have never seen before, and when it is all said and done, and the ref raises my hand in the air, that will be the end of it, my friend.
But I don't want you to think that I assume you are going to be easy to beat. On the contrary my friend. I know better then to underestimate someone. And you are not someone I will underestimate. Big dudes like you can certainly pack a punch, and one to many from you, and I am down and out for the count. So I have to avoid that. I have to avoid that wicked Drop of Death. That move, man, that move would put anybody out of their misery.
But don't think you have me because all I do is a "super kick" or a "frog splash". These moves, they are my moves. I have honed them to make sure when I hit them, you don't get up, no matter your size. When you see my boot coming at you man, you better say your prayers, because that is the END, my friend, the end.
After the match, Nightrider, if you aren't ashamed to have lost a match to someone who is very much smaller then you, I would like to take you out. For a beer. You and Angel Fyre. We can relax, and maybe even bond, who knows? We can share war stories, I can help you get a sense of humor, and we can leave the bar at night good and tanked...I mean the Hoff would be up for it, and what one nightrider is up for the other should be, so what do you say, buddy? But when that does happen, please, don't wear anything shiny...I like to lick shiny things. Forewaring.
All that aside, Nightrider, this sunday, at Shockwave, you are another stepping stone. You are another obsticle. You are someone standing in my way toward my goal, and that goal is to become the absolute best...so I am going to give you my absolute best...and you better to, my friend. And Nightrider, if I find out you were responsible for what happened to me and Kari last Sunday, that sick prank...well...just hope I don't. Lets just say in that case, the offer to hit the bar up is off...amongst other things. Nightrider, this Sunday...welcome to The Future.
::The camera zooms in a bit on Jeff's eyes. They are stuck striaght into the camera, until the scene, fades to black.::
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Jeff:
Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know who thought it was a good idea, but it is just that, an idea. Jeff Purse vs. Nightrider, Shockwave.
::Jeff steps out from behind a thick black curtain. He is dressed in a suit, perfectly ironed, perfectly straight. He has his hands behind his back, his monster cap centered, and his aviators on. He speaks with a serious tone, staring straight at the camera.::
Jeff:
Some people think that Jeff Purse just doesn't have it in him after losing to the disgusting, rotten, Nathan Von Liebert. Many people think that has affected Jeff in a negative way. Well, many people, you're wrong. That makes Jeff try even harder. Some people think that after that display of...whatever that was, that Jeff Purse is worried about what might happen to him this Sunday in the ring. Well some people, wrong again, Jeff is always focused on his match. But what of Jeff facing Nightrider? Find out now, on this, the first, and possibly only, addition of OCD news.
::The camera swoops away, as loud, action news music plays, and comes down to Kari and Jeff sitting at a desk, dressed as new correspondents...very over the top though. Kari is all askew, Jeff, who is neat and nice, refuses to even glance in her direction. She secretly finds it entertaining. They are straightening paper, look up at the camera, and begin.::
Jeff:
Nightrider equals David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff equals cheap, showy tactics to get famous. Remember, when we first brought up the subject of a Twist McFakey? Guess what Hoff, you are a twist McFakey...and I am talking to you Nightrider. Its odd though, you don't look like your beach going other side, you look like something he spit up after chowing on cheeseburgers laying on the ground, but hey, lets take it easy on the Hoff, huh? This isn't the roast of him...but man, you stole his name. Nightrider. David Hasselhoff IS nightrider, and you stole that. And stealing is bad. More on this theft as it comes in, but first, to Kari for the odds that Nightrider will win, Kari.
Kari:
I don't know who did that to us last week, but you better watch your back. Anyway, the statistics show that Jeff Purse will defeat Nightrider with much ease. Point and case, Nightrider is untalented, unfunny, and just a plain bad wrestler. Purse, on the other hand, is very talented, hilarious, and a great wrestler. He will run circles around Nightrider, and lay him out faster then you can say "come in Kip." Back to you Jeff.
Jeff:
Thanks Kari, good reporting. And that Jeff Purse isn't to bad to look at either...heh. Listen, point in fact Nightrider, here is what is going to happen. Kari and I will make our way to the ring, the beautiful couple that we are, then you and Angel Fyre will make YOUR way to the ring, the odd couple that you are. You will get in, we will stare each other down for a bit...then you will try to overpower me being the giant of a man that you are, but I will duck you, hit the ropes, and drop you to the ground with, oh who knows, a dropkick, perhaps a hurricanrana...it doesn't matter. I will take you down. Then, if you get up, perhaps a missle dropkick, or a moonsault to take you back down.
Maybe I will finally unveil The Future, teach you exactly where you belong. Let me tell you Nightrider, when you first came here, you were quoted as describing ACW as a place that has a lot of top notch talent. I am going to show you just how true those words are. I will teach you what it is like to actually go against top notch talent. After all, I am the future, Nightrider, while you...you are the...well you are like the land that time forgot. Never really changing. Being a big all dude with tattoos who likes to work on cars and show ismuscles to girls. You are like every guy at any gym lifting weights, ONLY when ladies walk by, or at least that what you LOOK like. Honestly, I don't know you. I don't care to know you. Its almost like you are not worth my time...
But thats not the way I look at things Nightrider, I do my homework, I study. I don't just walk into matches assuming I will win, so I have done some studying up on you. I bet you this is really going to hurt your insides...
::The scene cuts to a parking lot. In the very center, a 1969 cherry red Dodge Charger. It looks brand new, shiny, beautiful. The camera zooms out, and hanging above it is a giant piece of steel. Suddenly it drops, hitting the car right in the middle, probably ala Jeff's OCD. It splits the car in half, leaving it ruined. The scene cuts back to the studio where Jeff and Kari sit. Jeff is somewhat smiling.::
Jeff:
Look Nightrider-wait, this just in, we have heard, and have confirmation that Nightrider has entered the building and is heading this way. Apparently he thinks we crushed his car. It was just a copy, Nightrider, way to get overly angry about something small...
::The camera turns to show "Nightrider". It is a midget. Not just any midget, though, one fully decked out in Nightrider garb. With him is a midget women, decked out in Angel Fyre garb. Both of them look furious. The Nightrider midget walks up to Jeff, and starts swinging. All Jeff does is put his foot on the midgets forehead, which holds him at bay. Kari is "freaking" out during this. She is shouting, throwing things, yelling at "Angel Fyre" about ruining their report. All the while, both midgets are causing quite a ruckus. They finally get frustrated and storm out of the building. Jeff looks up at the camera, takes off his avaitors, and starts to speak::
Jeff:
Now, obviously this was just a simulation folks. The point I am trying to get at? No matter what, Nightrider, I am going to win. I not only have a goal in my head here, but I have to redeem myself after losing to the swamp that is Nathan Von Liebert. And truthfully, Nightrider, I don't think you are a bad guy at all...maybe a little cocky, but hey who in this business isn't cocky? The down to earth truth here, man, is this is what it is going to be like with me against you. Sure, on the outside, you are a giant. A super heavyweight almost. But when I look at you from across the ring, I am going to see that. A frightened, little, midget. Im faster, Nightrider, as I have said before, to many people. You better have quite the defense my friend, because I am going to be throwing things at you you have never seen before, and when it is all said and done, and the ref raises my hand in the air, that will be the end of it, my friend.
But I don't want you to think that I assume you are going to be easy to beat. On the contrary my friend. I know better then to underestimate someone. And you are not someone I will underestimate. Big dudes like you can certainly pack a punch, and one to many from you, and I am down and out for the count. So I have to avoid that. I have to avoid that wicked Drop of Death. That move, man, that move would put anybody out of their misery.
But don't think you have me because all I do is a "super kick" or a "frog splash". These moves, they are my moves. I have honed them to make sure when I hit them, you don't get up, no matter your size. When you see my boot coming at you man, you better say your prayers, because that is the END, my friend, the end.
After the match, Nightrider, if you aren't ashamed to have lost a match to someone who is very much smaller then you, I would like to take you out. For a beer. You and Angel Fyre. We can relax, and maybe even bond, who knows? We can share war stories, I can help you get a sense of humor, and we can leave the bar at night good and tanked...I mean the Hoff would be up for it, and what one nightrider is up for the other should be, so what do you say, buddy? But when that does happen, please, don't wear anything shiny...I like to lick shiny things. Forewaring.
All that aside, Nightrider, this sunday, at Shockwave, you are another stepping stone. You are another obsticle. You are someone standing in my way toward my goal, and that goal is to become the absolute best...so I am going to give you my absolute best...and you better to, my friend. And Nightrider, if I find out you were responsible for what happened to me and Kari last Sunday, that sick prank...well...just hope I don't. Lets just say in that case, the offer to hit the bar up is off...amongst other things. Nightrider, this Sunday...welcome to The Future.
::The camera zooms in a bit on Jeff's eyes. They are stuck striaght into the camera, until the scene, fades to black.::
