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[imbest]

I figured with the holiday break coming up that I'd chuck this out there. Ian Malcolm Best... he's morphed a lot; both in personality and presentation. My question to you all is how can I make your experience of reading my writing better?

Am I coherent? This is a tricky question to answer, so I'll divulge a couple of my strategies in RP:

• Foreshadowing - RP needs to have a transitional purpose as well as competitive. Nothing thrills me more that when I read a RP that makes me excited to see where it's going on SW or a PPV. I try to include it in every RP.
  
• Perspective - I trying to build tension with the Passenger and Ian. Is the Passenger a real entity or is Ian crazy? So, I have to shift perspectives a lot. That can be confusing, but it's essential to keeping my interest.
  
• Formatting - I've been playing with the format of my RPs since I came to ACW. My favorite formatting styles to date are the RP I posted for the Mayhem/Best at FF and the latest CD. Aesthetics are important to me in this aspect because it's available to use... just need to find that "one".
  
  

Given those technical details, what do you think?

Also, is it interesting? Does it make you want to read it, or is it just a duty-read? I want to find that harmony between my creative needs being met and the reader's desire not to have their time wasted. Rest assured that Ian will NOT go on a psycho binge and trying to do the ridiculous or illegal (subjectively). I understand the limits of "reality" when it applies to e-feds, so just give it a chance. I have a plan.

I felt compelled to return to e-feds by my desire to work out the kinks in my literal delivery. In as such, the main motivating force behind Ian's "rebirth" is based in the series, Dexter. The wife and I have been watching the Showtime series again and the fifth book came out in September. It's definitely a novel approach to a CAW, but do you care? If not, what would make it better?

On a side note, I believe my argumentative side is ready (I'm a lot more familiar with people now), so if your suggestions are to improve my point/counterpoint or attacking monologue, duly noted.

[devonmayhem]

I'm not going to tell you what you don't already know...yes, that's a Shawn O'Haire reference. You know that from a judging standpoint that your point/counterpoint is a weak area, but you also know something that escapes some people. ACW has six judging criteria and it is virtually impossible to be a beast in all six areas. That's a mistake that a lot of people (including myself in the past) have made. If you choose to sacrifice in one area, if you can make it up elsewhere it can make a difference ...unless of course you are up against someone that is a beast in your chosen "weak spot".

Now, your RP's on the whole I find to be entertaining and interesting, if difficult to "work with" from a competitive standpoint, but difficult isn't impossible. I've never found your promos to fall under the flag of a "duty read" for example, and I've had no trouble following the shifting of perspective in them. We had a character active who had done promos from unusual perspectives, Gryphon...one of his most memorable RP's including one single spoken line of text. He also heavily explored the "inner landscape" and it made it quite a treat to read. Hyena as well has really expanded that sort of thing with Patient Zero and The Great Destroyer. And of course we've had the pinnacle of the split personality disorder as our most dominant WHC to date, Snake.

I personally adore that sort of thing, and seeing Best debut here after seeing him in the X, I was pleased. I was more pleased to watch how he was revealed and the exploration of the character, the interesting outlay of "is he or isn't he". Very enjoyable.

My one complaint if you can call it that is the lack of a steady format for the character, though it does make sense as you're still attempting to find the one that "fits" with what you're doing. I liked the interspersed "clips" of interviews that you used, that was very unique from what we've seen here before and a nice sort of side detail that showed that ACW doesn't exist in a vacuum it operates right in the 'real world' as it should.

I'm looking forward to seeing the direction you end up going with this, that's for sure.