Roll Call: "Would You F**k Her? II

[Sang Réal]

::The screen is black with the words "The following program does not reflect the views and opinions of American Championship Wrestling. Viewer discretion is advised". The words fade.::

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a -ACW Forced Censored- ain't one

::"99 Problems" by Jay-Z gives way to "Requiem"by Metallica and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra plays to plays to a montage of shoots of Sang Réal walking to the ring, or in action or backstage. The final image is of their signature pose, done during their entrance at the top of the entrance. Golden pyro showers down behind them. Gold script lettering appears on the screen spelling out "Roll Call hosted by Sang Réal".::

::The title screen gives way to the second generation stars sitting in high back leather chairs in front of a fireplace and mantle, inside of a library. Above the fireplace is a portrait of Sang Réal's blood drop/DNA double helix emblem. Their Tag Team Championships sit on the mantle. As usual, the two are dressed in tailored Armani suits. Krown is dressed in a blue pin stripe suit with a red tie. Murphy is dressed in a black suit with black tie and his signature sunglasses.::

C.M: "Welcome once again. As always I am Connor Murphy and this is my partner Gabriel Krown. We are Sang Réal and this is Roll Call."

G.K.: "That's right peasants and mudbloods, we are back with the ACW's hottest and only Internet show. And this one is a very special episode. It is the one you have been waiting for."

C.M.: "Indeed it is. After months of hype and speculation about whether or not we would go through with it, we are back with our annual event."

G.K.: "Once more it is time to take a look at the women of the ACW and ask my partner, Connor Murphy, the question that has plagued mankind for years; "Would you -ACW forced Censored- her?"."

::"Nothing but Mammals" by Bloodhound Gang plays to a montage of the women in the ACW featuring Alexa Cole, Amy Zing, Angel Fyre, Ashley Harris, Aubrey Parker, Brianna D'Angelo, Dahlia, Heather Lee, Kari Kendall, Lola O'Neal, Megan Harris, Pam Hesrie, Sarah D'Angelo and Tee Voland. Pam and Heather are shown doing their jobs as interviewer and announce respectively. Sarah and Brianna are shown in their administrative roles, backstage or in ring or in an office. Kari and Angel are shown standing at ringside. Intermixed with these dull and boring moments are highlights of the other women wrestling one another.::

Sweat baby sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drop me
Can you do the kind of stuff that only friends would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Sisco, Yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch
You want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smoothered want you covered
Like my waffle house hash browns
Come quick like fed ex
Irridgenate like fex
Just like cuticle cost stock
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early
Just like day light savings time

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Getting horny now

::As montage and song continue, the words "Roll Call: Would You -ACW forced Censored- Her" form on the sceeen in calligraphy style script. The words slowly fade and the music lowers in volume and goes silent as the montage fades out to show Murphy and Krown sitting in their high backed leather chairs.::

C.M.: "Now some people might consider this sexual harassment. Others say it is degrading to women. Many say that it shows I have little to no respect for women."

G.K.: "We argue those points by telling them that the ACW didn't fire us after the first time, so we are doing it again because we assume for some strange reason that the ACW is either cool with it ."

C.M.: "I also like to point out that I date women for their bodies. I'm pretty much just in it for the sex at this stage of my life. And I will tell you, as a wrestler, it is really easy to get hot women. It really is, which is good, because I do love the ladies."

G.K.: "It is true. I hate sharing hotel rooms with the man as it is one woman after another."

::Murphy shrugs and shakes his head, smiling a bit.::

C.M.: "I do love the ladies."

G.K.: "But the all important question is Would You -ACW forced Censored- Her?."

::Murphy claps his hands together, then starts rubbing his palms.::

C.M.: "Well let's find out. Bring on the girls."

G.K.: "Now this year we have decided to go alphabetically, because it is honestly easier than randomly pikcing names. So let's begin with the first lovely lady."

::An image of former Women's Champion "The Amazon Warrior" Alexa Cole appears appears on the screen. Cole is standing in the ring, dressed in her wrestling attire. She seems to be looking at someone across the ring from her. The image fades away to show Murphy and Krown again, as all the images will do after this.::

G.K.: "We start out with Alexa Cole. So how about it?"

C.M.: "Okay, first of all, she's obviously a feminst. Second of all, I assume she would be that ball busting dominatrix type. Devon may wear the pants, but Alexa tells his . I may love the ladies, but in order to do that, I need my junk to work properly. So for the sake of my package and her being a ball buster, I am going to say no."

::The image of Alexa Cole is replaced by that of Amy Zing. It is one of the photos from Amy's Playboy spread. She is wearing a black bra and panties set with one of her bra straps hanging over her shoulder. She is laying down on a bed, looking shyly into the camera.::

G.K.: "Next up is Playboy covergirl and "Hong Kong Sensation" Amy Zing."

C.M.: "Since before the men of Ireland knew of Asia, the Murphy family had a thing for Asian women. Now I, along with most of the fans of the ACW have seen Amy Zing naked and that was worth it. She's also quite flexible and I like that. So I am going to say yes."

G.K.: "Kind what you said last year."

C.M.: "I like Asian women."

::Amy Zing's image is replaced with an image of Angel Fyre. She is shown to be standing at ringside, waving to the crowd, obviously while Night Rider is in the ring.::

G.K: "Okay, what about Angel Fyre?"

C.M.: "I can get a dozen girls like her with a snap of my fingers. She's with Night Rider, so she's clearly got no standards at all and is probably diseased or something. I am going to have to pass."

G.K.: "So that's a no?"

C.M.: "That is a no on Angel Fyre."

::Replacing Angel Fyre's image is a shot of Ashley Harris. The ACW's resident "Flower Child" is shown walking down to the ramp, high-fiving a fan.::

G.K.: "Now what about Mrs. Kyle Harris, Ashley Harris herself?"

C.M.: "You know, I think I am going to yes. She's pretty enough and has that whole sweet girl next door thing going on. Mans has been lusting after the hot girl next door since the day a caveman family got caveman neighbors with a hot daughter."

::Krown nods a bit before turning to the camera.::

G.K.: "See kids who shouldn't be watching this? You learn stuff."

::Ashley's picture is replaced by that of the woman who defeated her to win the ACW Women's Championship, Aubrey J Parker. Parker is shown blowing kisses to the crowd during her entrance.::

G.K.: "How about Aubrey J Parker?"

C.M.: "Now here is a woman who needs to get laid as she seems to have a permanent case of PMS. I really don't know the cause of that, but maybe getting some might help. The added plus is that she is loud, so she might be a screamer. The downside is she's kind of this wierd mix of plain and pretty. Despite that, Aubrey Parker gets a yes."

G.K.: "Really? The whole being a giant -ACW Forced Censored- thing isn't a problem?"

C.M.: "I can work with that."

::Replacing Parker's picture is the image of Brianna D'Angelo. This is a bit more recent an image, showing her in a suit as she is now Jack Marrow's assisstant.::

G.K.: "Well how about Brianna D'Angelo?"

C.M.: "She's not bad looking. More importantly, she is the sister of the boss. That factor alone makes it a yes."

::The next image is that of Dahlia. "Gothic Hot" is shown standing on the turnbuckle, arms in the air, looking at the crowd.::

C.M.: "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

G.K.: "So that's a no for Dahlia?"

::Murphy holds up his fingers in the sign of the cross, as if trying to ward off evil.::

C.M.: "That's a giant hell no for Dahlia. I really don't know how Carnage can even be with her. If I woke up by next to that, I'd either scream or try to drive a stake through her heart. Get that thing away."

::Dahlia's image is replaced with that of Heather Lee. Lee is standing in the ring at Struggle for Supremacy, with a mic in hand during an introduction.::

G.K.: "Will it be a yes for Heather Lee?"

C.M.: "It will indeed be a yes for Heather Lee. She's pretty and you just know she's a screamer. I like that, so definatly yes."

::Heather Lee's image is replaced with a black screen.::

G.K.: "Next up was supposed to be Heather Miller."

::Krown looks off to his left, confused, like he's trying to find one of the production people.::

G.K: "Do we have a picture? Oh? No, we don't? Okay. Has anyone ever even seen her? Yeah I haven't either. I know, it's weird right? Yeah."

::He shrugs before turning back to Murphy, who just shrugs as well.::

::The black screen is replaced with a white screen with [Insert Photo] in the center.::

G.K.: "So what about Heather Miller?"

C.M.: "I have to say no. Heather Miller does not exist. . That'd be like asking me if I would -ACW forced Censored- someone like Betty Rubble or Jessica Rabbit or some other fictional character. Definatly no."

::The [Insert Photo] screen is replaced with one of the newer women of the ACW, Kari Kendall. Kari is show standing at ringside, watching a match. The photo seems to have been taken from across the ring.::

G.K.: "Well next up is a girl we know exists. She is a newcomer to the ACW, Kari Kendall. How about it?"

C.M.: "Right off the bat, I can tell that she has no standards or self-confidence. Why? Well she's with Jeff Purse, that's how I can tell. It's sort of sad, because she is kind of attractive. However, I think I can make it a yes for her."

::Lola O'Neal's image replaces that of Kari Kendall's. Lola is walking along the ring apron during her entrance. She is looking into the ring.::

G.K.: "Well how about Lola O'Neal?"

C.M.: "She's a vapid, self-absorbed airhead like the kind of girls you see on The Hills or shows like that."

G.K.: "So it's pretty much a yes then?"

::Murphy nods his head.::

C.M.: "Absolutely! If there is one type of woman the Murphy family loves almost as much as the Asian woman, it is the vapid, self-absorbed airhead bimbos that you see on reality TV, which makes you debat throwing the thing out as you fear for the human race."

G.K.: "They are your type."

C.M: "Indeed."

::Krown turns back to the camera.::

G.K.: "Another lesson for the kids who should be watching this is that if you want to be famous, be a stupid -ACW Forced Censored- moron without any practical skill except for your good looks, because then people will watch you be a moron on TV."

::Lola's image is replaced by her fellow Church of Anarchy member, Megan Harris. Megan is standing on the apron, dressed in her wrestling gear.::

G.K.: "Next we have another church-goer n Megan Harris."

C.M.: "Didn't think Mike Voland's pants was a church."

G.K.: "Given the sheer Chuck Norris level hype of Mike Voland, I would assume his pants are a church. And Megan seems religious. Remember that one time we had the hotel room next to her and Mike and she kept yelling out to God? Clearly praying."

C.M.: "Can we get back on subject?"

G.K.: "Yeah, so would you?"

C.M.: "Megan? Yeah. I always have a soft spot for her. So what the hell? Sure."

::Megan's image is replaced with Pam Hesrie. The backstage interviewer is shown holding a mic in her hand, looking into the camera, as if she is either about to start an interview or has ended one.::

G.K.: "Now how about Pam Hesrie?"

C.M.: "Yes. That hot librarian look is still working very well for her."

::Sarah D'Angelo's image replaces Pam's. The owner of the ACW is shown standing in the ring, dressed is a sort of business casual look, but still managing to look professional.::

G.K.: "And we come to the boss-lady herself, Sarah D'Angelo. How about it?"

C.M.: "It's the boss, so that's a given, I am just lucky that she's hot. I'd hate to be working some sort of ugly dog faced woman or a troll. And as I said last year, if her and her sister are involved, then it becomes hell yeah."

::It is Tee Voland's image that replaces Sarah D'Angelo's. Tee is shown walking down the ramp and heading to the ring in her wrestling gear.::

G.K.: "And finally, we have Tee Voland. How about Tee?"

C.M.: "Lesbian. No. Next?"

G.K.: "We're out of women."

C.M.: "Really?"

G.K.: "Yeah."

C.M.: "Seems like a shorter list this year."

G.K.: "It does. We need more women and more tag teams."

::Murphy nods in agreement.::

C.M.: "So what is or final tally?"

G.K.: "It was no for Alexa, Angel Fyre, Dahlia and Tee. Everyone else had a yes."

C.M.: "They're getting hotter."

G.K.: "Good, because we're doing this again next year."

C.M.: "And that marks the end of this very special edition of Roll Call. As always, I am Connor Murphy."

G.K.: "I'm Gabriel Krown."

C.M: "We are Sang Réal."

G.K.: "And we are..."

C.M. & G.K.: "Toujours Pur."

::"Nothing but Mammals" by Bloodhound Gang replays as a montage of the ACW's women is shown. The scene fades to black.::